Book Review, Claire Kendal, Fiction, SephiPiderWitch, The Book of You

The Book of You – Claire Kendal

The Book Of You - Claire KendalI can’t remember a time when a book has so disturbed me as much as “The Book of You” by Clair Kendal.  I listened to the audio version of it so I am not sure how much of the credit I can give to the writing and how much to the reader.  (Orlagh Cassidy).  Admittedly, her slow, methodical voice in the beginning almost made me lose interest, but I gave it a bit more time and then I was hooked. Clarissa is chosen to serve on a jury for a trial about a young prostitute that was gang raped by some street thugs.  At the same time she is being stalked by a man in the building she works, Raif.  She learns that she had spent a night with him after he had slipped a drug into her drink.  She begins to put this together initially from little comments and notes from Raif.  At one point she attempts to call emergency to complain about it and though the woman on the other end is sympathetic, she realizes that there isn’t any help for her.  She has no proof of a crime committed, only her knowledge. Serving on the jury shows her how little protection a woman has when she brings charges against an abuser/abusers as she witnesses the woman seeming to be the one on trial.  That the burden of proof is on her that she was in fact a victim and not a wiling participant.    Serving on the jury shows her that she must have so much proof that there is no choice in their need to believe her. Raif somehow seems to know everything about her.  Even the fact that she had wanted a child with her former husband and his near infertility, their attempts to increase the chances medically and the eventual failure which also ended in the failure of their marriage.  He feeds her these bits of information through notes, in her ear as she is waiting for the train home, on the phone. She keeps a journal of these interactions, her days, her feelings.  And it is mostly through these journal entries that the story unfolds.  It is through these journal entries that you get into the head of what it is to be stalked, to be the subject of someone’s unwanted obsession.  Raif has seeped into everything, every thought, every moment.  She looks for him around every corner, in every room, on every street.  He leaves her packages, presents.  She realizes that she cannot send them back, that she needs to keep them.  They are evidence that she can one day provide to prove his obsession.  They are evidence to prove that it is not her imagination. She begins to take sleeping pills to help her sleep and they become a nightly ritual.  She knows there is a real fear that if this knowledge ever gets out, it could harm her case against Raif.  It can be used to make her look like she is unstable.  She realizes that almost every thing she does can be used to make her look bad.  She sees this fact each day in court as the attorneys do this to the young prostitute. Her only relief through all of this is a man she meet on the jury, Robert, a fireman.  They become attracted to each other and it provides her with something positive to provide moments of relief from the ever present thoughts of Raif. As you move through the book, you become tied into the fear, the terror that has become Clarissa as she writes “The Book of You”, the name she has given the book she keeps her notes in.  The terror of this novel is particularly close to many women, given how many have been on the receiving end of a stalker.  The truth in the story that most know their stalker, most have had some form of personal relationship with the stalker, even a romantic relationship.  For those that have been on the receiving end of such a situation, this book is even more terrifying because it pulls you deeply into the emotional disintegration you succumb to the longer the stalker comes at you.  It reminds you how vulnerable you are, how little real help is out there. Its easy to become Clarissa as you read the pages.  Or listen to the pages being read.  Orlagh gives a haunted voice to Clarissa.  You feel the helplessness and terror.  You feel  the grasping for answers, the desire to protect those you love from this man’s abuse.  The isolation that comes from stepping away from them to protect them.  The fear of disbelief if you tell your story.  The pain that comes when you actually meet that disbelief with someone that you love. I don’t know if Claire was ever herself a victim.  If she was not, she at least must have known someone intimately who had been.  This is not a happy story.  Though there is a love story woven in its pages, it is a story of terror and one that is so very common.  It is told with a beautiful haunted voice.  It is told with words that seep into your heart, into your soul and into your mind.  It is a story that will haunt your dreams for a very long time after.  And it is a story that should be read so more people might understand how devastating it is to be a victim.  It should be read so that people believe that person when they say they are being stalked.  It should be read so that they are not alone.  And it should be read so the stalker receives no pity and is seen for what he truly is.  It just plain should be read. SephiPiderWitch 02/05/2015
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